eastenders horses
Some horses discussing last night's EastEnders

In spite of the popular saying 'I heard it from the horse's mouth', horses are actually rubbish at talking. So bad, in fact, that they constantly miss out on jobs in call centres, shops and teaching. Instead, they spend their lives pulling carts or giving rides to happy girls in jodhpurs.

Horses and ponies communicate without using words. They strike the ground with their hooves, producing either a 'clip' - represented by the symbol clip - or a 'clop' - represented by the symbol clop.

horse code symbols
These sounds are combined to create a language
that is known to expert horse scientists (nagologists)
as 'Horse Code'.

For example,clip clop or 'clip-clop' is the letter A.
clopclipclipclip (clop-clip-clip-clip) is the letter B.
And so it goes on for the rest of the alphabet.

However, clipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclipclopclop-
clopclopclipclopclip(clip-clop-clip-clop-clop-clip-clop-clop-clip-clipetty-clop-clop-clip-clop-clopetty-clip-clop-clip) is just a horse that likes to tap-dance.

Any horse trapped in a lift or aboard a sinking ship should tap out the letters SOS - clipclipclip clopclopclop clipclipclip - (clip-clip-clip clop-clop-clop clip-clip-clip). If nothing else, it will at least help pass the time and calm or distract other passengers.

NOTE: Analysis of the hoof stomps of stabled horses has shown them to be dull conversationalists. They spend their lives either complaining constantly about the quality of their hay or making rude remarks about donkeys.